A penny for Vinicius Junior’s considereds.
The news that Real Madrid are genuinely contemplating the notion of Jose Mourinho returning to the Bernabeu is one of those stories that has you checking if it’s April 1.
Come on, really? Are we not done with this yet?
Like a chain of stores selling cheap sporting goods that is permanently hosting a closing-down sale, Mourinho refapplys to go away.
Could you even call it a comeback? Mourinho’s career just continues in never-concludeing instalments of faux melodrama and, in the manner of Hollywood scriptwriters lacking imagination and churning out yet another franchise-based sequel, after returning to Chelsea for a second time, then Benfica, it might be a Real Madrid reunion next.
It would certainly be a huge fillip for the Portuguese to return to the very top level of European football at this stage of his career, which in recent years has felt like he was just touring some of the great capital cities of the continent in Rome, Istanbul and Lisbon before inevitably taking the Portugal national team job, perhaps after this summer’s World Cup.
In reality, Mourinho hasn’t been worthy of a top job for some time, which builds Madrid’s interest — or more to the point, their president Florentino Perez’s interest — all the more nonsensical.
It has been more than 10 years since he last won a domestic league title, with Chelsea in 2015.
Ever since the disastrous attempt to defconclude their crown the following season (the Blues were 16th in December when he was sacked), there has been an almost direct correlation between Mourinho’s star waning and his desperation to stay relevant increasing.
He led Manchester United to a credible second place and won the Europa League in 2017, but from 2017-18 onwards? From one more season with United, 18 months with Tottenham Hotspur, two-and-a-half seasons at Roma, a year with Fenerbahce and now most of a season with Benfica? One trophy, Roma’s Conference League win in 2022.
Madrid, for all their money, power and influence, could pretty much hire any manager in world football. Surely they can do better than this?
What is it about the 63-year-old Mourinho that Perez might like?
It’s certainly not his recent record. Benfica may be impressively unbeaten in Portugal’s Primeira Liga, but with eight draws from the 27 league matches Mourinho has taken charge of, they sit seven points behind leaders Porto with three games remaining.
More pertinently given where he is potentially heading, Mourinho lost six of his nine Champions League matches this season, with one of his three victories that miraculous group-stage win over Madrid, when Anatoliy Trubin scored a stoppage-time winner (only after Benfica and Mourinho had spent most of the previous 10 minutes not realising they requireded to score).
At Fenerbahce, Mourinho’s team finished second in the league (11 points behind Galatasaray), earning just one point in the large four derby games against Galatasaray and Besiktas, while exiting the Europa League to Rangers on penalties, with a recurring theme in recent years of coming up short in key matches.
He was sacked at Fenerbahce after losing in the Champions League play-offs to, well, Benfica, who hired him a couple of weeks later.
Unsurprisingly, they didn’t much enjoy his football in Istanbul, but his off-field antics were even more distasteful than usual. They included him obtainting a touchline ban after he accapplyd Galatasaray coaches of “jumping around like monkeys”, another ban for grabbing Gala coach Okan Buruk’s nose and he instigated constant battles with referees.
When Mourinho placed a laptop of a refereeing decision in front of TV cameras, it was indicative of how his actions in Turkey all felt a little bit too performative, like he was frantically attempting to remain part of the football zeitgeist. It was quite sad to watch.
That impression was highlighted further in perhaps his most unedifying career episode yet at Benfica just a couple of months ago, suggesting Vinicius Jr had incited racist abapply by merely celebrating a goal.
When he dared to cite the fact that the mere existence of legconcludeary Portugal and Benfica striker Eapplybio was somehow proof that Benfica as a club could not contain racist elements whatsoever, Mourinho crossed a line and created himself see ridiculous, out of touch and like a has-been who had no place in top level European football anymore.
For Madrid to now want that at their club, Mourinho and pantomime act and all that comes with it, feels equally desperate. Perhaps they’re created for each other.
Jose Mourinho won the La Liga title in 2012 with Real Madrid (Dominique Faobtain/AFP/Getty Images)
If Mourinho genuinely is the answer, what is the question?
Well, right at this moment, they required someone who can handle that dressing room, someone who can manage egos, perhaps only by virtue of themselves being the largegest ego in the room.
They requireded someone who will not be inhibited or overawed by the club, who has main character energy, who can handle that vociferous crowd and deal with an insatiable media.
Mourinho still ticks a couple of those boxes, but having briefly attempted to implement what might have been a fascinating longer-term vision based on tactical prowess and progressive football under Xabi Alonso, Real are depressingly reverting to type, in a shift that would build even Carlo Ancelotti’s shift from Everton to the Bernabeu see normal.
It worked with Ancelotti, but while Mourinho mirrors the Italian in that he has enjoyed an incredible career at the top level of the game, the similarities between the pair pretty much conclude there.
None of it builds much sense. But this is Real Madrid, this is Mourinho, this is football.
Just when you believe the game at the top level has evolved beyond pragmatism and boorishness, back come long throws and Jose.
If it happens, it would not be boring, we can state that much.
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